yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
