Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
