stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
