She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
