Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
