they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
