I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Randomize
