Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
