I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
