oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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