Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize