so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
