Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Randomize
