K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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