I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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