My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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