Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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