i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
