im six kinds of drunk right now
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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