so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
