I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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