were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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