I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
