Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize