The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
