I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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