My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
No subtext here. People are naked.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
