You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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