last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
My ass is underappreciated
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
