apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
