I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
