you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Randomize