okay pat passed out under dana's car
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
and she was petting her beer can
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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