I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
