The maid of honor just puked.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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