People in love make me want to vomit
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
