some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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