I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Less talking, more tequila
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Randomize