Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I'm bleeding and have questions
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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