Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize