I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Randomize