do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
