She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
