I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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