just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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