we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
