dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
