why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
