I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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