apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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