So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
