i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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