this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
When are your genitals available?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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