we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
