I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Sober January is a disaster.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
no more duck duck goose at the bar
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
