she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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