good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
God, you're like boner-b-gone
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
