K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize
