Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
No subtext here. People are naked.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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