We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
