good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
