A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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